Fairytale Writer T-Shirts

'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

The Frog Prince

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'Don't talk to me about your kids eating you out of house and home!'

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

A Fairytale Update

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Well, that one got away."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'