Fairway Philosophers Gifts

Two guys in golf cart: 'You didn't get out and vote?' - 'Are you kidding me.....?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"I'm bored."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"