Fairway Philosophers Pillows

Two guys in golf cart: 'You didn't get out and vote?' - 'Are you kidding me.....?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'