Fare Philosopher Pillows

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Critical Ethanol report

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

Fuels paradise.

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

TSA Lines

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

The oil crisis.

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

Presidential Medal of Freedom

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."