Frequent Flyer Philosopher Pillows

Troy.

"Is one really in first class if there is no one in coach...?"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Technological Dependence.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Hell: The Airport"

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"He keeps touching me!"

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

Flight: Select your spot.

Airplane Seatbelts

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

The Chippendales go through airport security.

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

The aviation experts come out to play

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'