Frequent Flyer Irony Pillows

'We need a third runway for all the ministers flying to India and China to tell them to cut their carbon emissions.'

"Would you like some wings?"

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

Troy.

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

'You want a shuffle flight to Buffalo?'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'I'll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines continue to come up with new add-on charges.

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

'How many frequent flyer points do you have?'

'How many frequent flier miles do you have?'

"Once again, we're boarding only our Elite Premium passengers at this time. Thank you."

Every now and then, Doreen liked to see how many people were paying attention to her safety talk.

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

Beverage Service "Distancing"

Passport Controls

More intense body search at airport checkpoints.

Airline- The Restaurant

"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."