Frequent Flyer Humorists Pillows

When People Start to Look Like their Luggade

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Technological Dependence.

Vampire on a plane

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

"He keeps touching me!"

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Airplane Seatbelts

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

For Sale: Red Arrow

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'

The aviation experts come out to play

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

"I'm glad they had these nice robes for us, because my luggage didn't make it."

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'

"I'm just saying. . . it wouldn't have hurt to check the price of an airline ticket."

Future COVID-19 Airline Meal Serivce

'-but dad, how can a supersonic plane be LATE?'