Frequent Flyer Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Vampire on a plane

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

Elite-Premium Passengers

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

"Back! Back! Rows twenty and higher only!"

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

'We need a third runway for all the ministers flying to India and China to tell them to cut their carbon emissions.'

"What's up with him?" "Travelling on points."

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.

'How many frequent flier miles do you have?'

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'Is this business class?'