Frequent Flyer With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Vampire on a plane

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Dog on a plane.

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Baldo, you can't flip off people in a big city like this! You never know what kind of crazies are out there! What if they follow us home?"

Elite-Premium Passengers

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

Holiday photos.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Toilet door. Table for one!

"Excuse me driver, but your guard is stuck in the doors!"

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

Getting the Finger

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'