Frequent Flyer With A Sense Of Humor Prints

Vampire on a plane

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Dog on a plane.

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

Elite-Premium Passengers

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

"Baldo, you can't flip off people in a big city like this! You never know what kind of crazies are out there! What if they follow us home?"

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

Holiday photos.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Toilet door. Table for one!

"Excuse me driver, but your guard is stuck in the doors!"

Getting the Finger

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'