Fare Philosopher Gifts

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Critical Ethanol report

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

Fuels paradise.

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

TSA Lines

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

The oil crisis.

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

Freedom

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."