Flying Philosopher Gifts

"I think, therefore I am...or am I?..."

Very Difficult Conversations

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Creativity

Religion & Economics.

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

'Polly want many things, but a cracker isn't among them.'

God's Fly Swat...

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"I have no head for show business."

Emotional Baggage Check In.

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

"That wasn't very funny!"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'I cut the grass once, but it grew again.'

"Our flight's been diverted to Frankfurt - but remember, it is better to travel than to arrive."

No caption. (Turtle uses its shell as an umbrella.)

Hell's Ethics

"My wife says I'm incapable of forming an opinion of my very own. You've known me for years, Al. What do you think?"

'I prefer it this way.'

Troy.

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and i don't even feel a breeze."

The Cow Pie Gods smile upon us, gentlemen!

Bring down the Airlines.

Beggers belief.