Fly Philosophers Gifts

The Cow Pie Gods smile upon us, gentlemen!

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Chicken soup for the sole.

Creativity

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Food fight!'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"Cat got your tongue?"

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

Do you mind if I mix a little business with pleasure and have a brief conversation with the waiter about the fly in my soup?

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

"What should I say this is about?"

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"I don't love you anymore. Let's just be friends."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

"If man evolved from apes,does that mean we came from Sea Monkeys?"

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'Polly want many things, but a cracker isn't among them.'

"I have no head for show business."

'EEEEEEX-CREMENT!'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."