Fee Policy Philosopher Pillows

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'Greenspan today explained the reason the Fed faises interest rates is so they can lower them again.'

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'No 'Natural Environment,' next 127 miles - Govt. test study.'

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

"I have every confidence that the measures taken will encourage spending..."

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.