Tax Philosopher Pillows

"I'm going to mail this tax return and then go to confession."

'In the 1997 tax over-haul, Congress promised $95 bullion in tax breaks to 120 million American taxpayers! How much of that is mine?'

'Is capital punishment the same as wealth tax?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

New Improved I.R.S.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

Budget reaction.

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'