Sidewalk Philosopher Gifts

The average man in the street.

"Ah...Good morning Sir, we're from the 'couldn't give a toss party."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Pavement Artist

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

Chicken: the one-man show

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

"I don't miss my accountancy life. I find I get out more nowadays."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

Bank

Homeless man's sign: 'Sperm donor to the crowned heads of Europe.'

"That was generous."

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

'...if we ain't got homes why should anyone...'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

Homeless Man: 'So...your Park bench or mine?'

How does she get her grass so green?

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

I Spoke Out On The Issues - Please Help.

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

'Everyone has their purpose in God's plan my son. Yours is to be a pain in the arse.'

'One thing about being chronically unemployed -- we're safe from work-related injuries.'

'Marry me, Celia, let me take care of you!'