Facebook Philosopher Gifts

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

The Proust of Twitter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'