Online Philosopher Gifts

Congratulations! You now have One Million imaginary friends!

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

You know how you can reach your character limit when you type something on Twitter? Well, that can also happen in life. It's happened to me. I've run out of character.

@noreplyguy. The inevitable.

'I can't afford mental health care, but my twitter vocabulary indicates I may have a problem.'

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

The Proust of Twitter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Woman on the phone.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Digito Ergo Sum.

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Information Macht Frei