Online Philosopher T-Shirts

Congratulations! You now have One Million imaginary friends!

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

The Proust of Twitter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Woman on the phone.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

'What does the internet have against my people?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Digito Ergo Sum.

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

'I blog, therefore I am.'

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."