Virtual Philosopher T-Shirts

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

"If a man tweets and it doesn't appear in anybody's timeline, is it still a tweet?"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

The Proust of Twitter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Woman on the phone.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Digito Ergo Sum.

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."