Virtual Philosopher Gifts

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

"If a man tweets and it doesn't appear in anybody's timeline, is it still a tweet?"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

The Proust of Twitter

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Woman on the phone.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Digito Ergo Sum.

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'