Facebook Philosopher Pillows

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

I agree with you, Sadie. It's a total waste. What is? Facebook. It just sucks up your time, with the chatting and the updates and the Scrabble playing. Scrabble? People play on Facebook or their iPhones or casual game sites. Total waste. I love Scrabble! Hook baited. Internal conflict!

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

The Proust of Twitter

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Men gossiping

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...