Online Philosophers Pillows

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

The Proust of Twitter

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

The Thinker (with a laptop).

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Digito Ergo Sum.

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

Think/Don't Think

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

'I blog, therefore I am.'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."