Internet Philosopher Pillows

'How did you waste time before the internet?'

"Well on the upside, we get a highly personalized experience."

'Wow, when did it start letting you 'enemy' people?'

"How Much Everyone Got Upset in Real Life."

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'You know, I don't need your approval. I can have all my crackpot opinions validated on the internet!'

"They were fine until I started posting my opinions online."

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

"Well, if God had a facebook page think of how many 'likes' he'd have!"

"If a website crashes on the Internet and nobody goes there, does it matter?"

'I realize this may be the dumbest thing I've ever said, everyone will see it, but I want to post it anyway.'

'I've got 8350 followers but none of them is here to buy me the next drink!'

"No, your sister isn't mad at us. Since she started university she now thinks it's mandatory to work up a sense of offended outrage before she logs on to any sort of social media."

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

"Shouldn't it be called anti-social media?"

'We too thought we could resist social media.'

Je Suis What Social Media Decide...

Bird to bird: 'If I'm not careful, I could twitter my life away.'

How to Leave Website Comments

"A new study shows the internet is filled with false information."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"So, the self-anointed brandishing millions of followers. How is social media NOT a cult again?"

"I only talk politics on the web, pal, and I don't use me real name."