Social Media Philosophers Gifts

"Says here he leaves behind a wife, two children, and forty-seven Twitter followers."

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

Social media and privacy

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

The Proust of Twitter

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."