Exhibitor Gifts

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Trade Show Sherpas

Party Animals.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Children's Art Show.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

The Rise of Modern Art

Cats at private view

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Freaks of nature exhibit.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Private Viewing

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

Modern Portrait Gallery

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

In the art gallery

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"It's a great work!"

World Exhibition - At the Champs-Élysées - from 3 to 6 o'clock, great exhibition of petticoats

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Artist Retrospective.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

"I get my best ideas in the shower."