Exercise Instructor Gifts

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

"Man, that instructor kicked my butt today."

"1 cookie, 2 donuts, 3 cupcakes, 4..."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"We're exclusively delts."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Exercise Class

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Running

The best PE teacher in the World.

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'