Equine Joke Lover Gifts

"Ivermectin! Ha ha they're taking it! Ooh I peed a little..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"You're wearing it backwards."

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

'See? When we both make that little jog to the right at the last minute...'

Occidental

'The Zoo just ain't what it used to be!'

Rider Helping Horse Over the Jump

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'

Ways to mount a horse

"You can lead me to water but you can't make me drink, unless it has added food coloring and sweeteners."

Will sing for pony nuts.

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

"I don't think I'd mind so much if it was another woman."

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'Is it me or are you getting taller?'

The Tandem: A Romantic Gallop

What time is it Mr. Wolf? Like I haven't heard that one before!

Psst … How can you tell the twins apart? They smell identical!

"Guess what! I didn't even know I was broken but tomorrow I'm gonna get 'fixed!'"

'You know I have a race tomorrow.'

"Are those noodles?"

'Frankly, the only way to ease your back-pain would be for your rider to go on a diet...'

'I don't like photo finishes: I never look good in them...'