Equine Comedy Fan Gifts

Will sing for pony nuts.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Author does not do tricks."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Moo Out Loud

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

Pet Entertainers

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Dog traps the postman.

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'