Equine Comedy Fans Gifts

"He knocked down the last fence - with my foot."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Pet Entertainers

Dog traps the postman.

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

When Dogs Rule

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

Dog Realtor

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

"I didn't want him growing up to be like his father."

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

Park statues horse and rider.

'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

"You're wearing it backwards."

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"He's a bird-dog."

"O.K.—I've got the tongue."

Jerry Springer Spaniel

Blind woman, blind dog, seeing eye cat.

'Why's he digging up these flowers?'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

"Sorry guys, these are restricted premises: Show me your teeth so that I can check your age..."

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"

"Well, if I had to guess -- I'd say it's undigested homework."

'Call me 'dear' one more time and I'm yanking those antlers out by the roots'

'We couldn't find a donor heart, so we implanted 13 chipmunk hearts.'

'Flossing?'

'So I decided, why not a REAL attack dog running mate?'

This one is yours!

'And what did you get me?'