Equine Comedians Gifts

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Motorherd

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Dogs life

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"I finally caught you... now what?"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."