Equestrian Comedians Gifts

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

"And here are today's categories...."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Wag your tail just once when I come home. You miserable dog!"

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

A Few Common Ailments

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

Polo pony

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"