Equestrian Comedy Gifts

"Sorry guys, these are restricted premises: Show me your teeth so that I can check your age..."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

Polo pony

A Few Common Ailments

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.