Epitaph Appreciator Gifts

'I lived a prosperous, but frugal life.'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Trump! The Musical

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Night of the Zombonies.

Iliadette.

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"Steamed vegetables."

Meat Grinder

'Oh Hi!'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

What's an Imax cave?

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"