Epitaph Aficionado Gifts

Segregated gravestone: 'Did not work well in groups.'

Superman, aka, 'Man of Steel' Rust in Peace.

"Gail Webb 1939 - 2014 'Next time bring a sweater... just in case.'"

Too Much SOY

In a cemetery a man's gravestone reads: Ran Out Of Survival Tips.

Grave marker: 'Died, Nov. 20, 2006, in order to devote 100 percent of his time to being dead.'

He always was a tad impatient.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"He was a very good boy."

Punctuation Police

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Why we need poetry. . .

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Bribes for Jabs

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Klimt Kiss Phones