Epitaph Explorer Gifts

"He was a bit of a show-off."

Just As I Was About To...

Life and death in the 24 hour news cycle era.

Boot Hill: 2nd Fastest Gun In The West RIP

"It says he was a man who lived on the edge."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Phoenix

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Are you sure this what he said to build?"

Haunted museum

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"Mummy!

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'I call it 'No Admittance'.'

Jim Evans - Father, husband and darn good eatin'.

'It occurs every fall, sir.'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

How the Pyramid Was Really Formed...

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

"Try again."

'Let's make this one the biggest one ever.'

"We only have the Bible."

I think the alphabet soup expired.

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."