Epitaphs Gifts

A tombstone in a cemetery reads "Prentiss W. Burchmeyer - Born July 16, 1908, Dined at the White House May 3, 1984, Died March 30 1987".

In a cemetery a man's gravestone reads: Ran Out Of Survival Tips.

RJ YOMP 1815-1853...swashbuckled.

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Moby Dick

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Henrik Ibsen,

Balloon dog poos.

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

Upper East Side Dog Park

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

A day in the life of a dog.

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'