Enlightenment Entrepreneur Gifts

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Voltaire

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Showoff"

"Just go with the workflow."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

Decision Making Block

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"You've been served."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Do you have pants in XL?"

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"All the celebrities come here."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."