Enlightenment Entrepreneur T-Shirts

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Voltaire

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Showoff"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Guru.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Decision Making Block

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"All the celebrities come here."

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"You've been served."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."