Enlightenment Enthusiast Gifts

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'I'd really appreciate it if you'd refrain from shouting 'KA-CHING!!!' every time you become one with the universe.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

Guru Warranty,

'Of course the meaning of life has practical applications!'

'Hey - enlighten up!'

'The four certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market bubbles.'

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'Oh no! It's the man from The Enlightenment!'

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

'I'm sorry, but for that kind of money I really can't help you work on yourself.'

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'

'Please remove all spiritual baggage and step through the soul scanner.'

A man walks towards "Enlightenment" while his feet walk towards "Sandals".

'Thanks for the meaning of life. But I'll still need money.'

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'The Master goes to seek wisdom from a higher power!'

"I'm Disillusionment. Enlightenment is over there."

'Oh, that's the guru up there - I'm just the PR guy.'

'I'm afraid that I have to raise the rent.'

Valentine for Guru.

'I bet I can extinguish my ego before you extinguish YOUR ego!'

My spirit takes wing: Eastern philosophy & travel agency.

"Boy, I wish I had brought some magazines..."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'The first step towards wisdom is accepting that nobody you with knows anything.'

"You have achieved Nirvana, Mr. Harper, and a bad case of tennis knee."

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

Truth

"Hey Buddha, can you spare a dharma?"

Newton Gets Woke

He's an enlightenment hoarder.