Enlightenment Enthusiast Pillows

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'I'd really appreciate it if you'd refrain from shouting 'KA-CHING!!!' every time you become one with the universe.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

Guru Warranty,

'Of course the meaning of life has practical applications!'

'The four certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market bubbles.'

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'Oh no! It's the man from The Enlightenment!'

A man walks towards "Enlightenment" while his feet walk towards "Sandals".

'I'm sorry, but for that kind of money I really can't help you work on yourself.'

'Thanks for the meaning of life. But I'll still need money.'

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'

Truth

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

"You have achieved Nirvana, Mr. Harper, and a bad case of tennis knee."

'The Master goes to seek wisdom from a higher power!'

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'I'm afraid that I have to raise the rent.'

"Boy, I wish I had brought some magazines..."

'I bet I can extinguish my ego before you extinguish YOUR ego!'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Valentine for Guru.

My spirit takes wing: Eastern philosophy & travel agency.

'Oh, that's the guru up there - I'm just the PR guy.'

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

'The first step towards wisdom is accepting that nobody you with knows anything.'

"Can I rent happiness with an option to buy?"

"I am so past enlightenment."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).