Enlightenment Humor Lover Gifts

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

A Puppet Named Juan

Albert Einstein

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

OM, SWEET OM

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

String Theory for Beginners.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Truth

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

I am one with stupid.

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'

'Oh, that's the guru up there - I'm just the PR guy.'

"Not only do I not know the meaning of life, I also forgot why I came up here."

If your question concerns your golf ball, the answer is yes, I know where it is.

'The heck of it is, non-violence never solves anything either!'