Intellectual Humor Lover Gifts

'Okay, one more time, this is your brain.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Social Contract

Although supportive of the feminist cause,Jacques hated being distracted by pretty faces when studying the young Marx."

'I think his I.Q. is lower than his shoe size!'

Ego is memory times consciousness over and over again.

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

Jean-Paul Sartre.

"Does my brain look big in this?"

Albert Einstein

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

"Look! No hands!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You are still here."

The Hammer

Schrödinger and his cat

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Where Are They Now?'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'