Intellectual Humor Fan Gifts

"Oh, it's you."

"I was reading somewhere that people are stupid."

Poor Zhok, the only Homo Sapien in a Neanderthal neighborhood.

Mensa & Densa.

Albert Einstein

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Scarcity

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Archimedes statue with a lever

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

Winter Weather.

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Schrödinger and his cat

'More government surveillance!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."