Intelligent Humor Lover Gifts

Albert Einstein

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You are still here."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

The Hammer

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

'Where Are They Now?'

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

James Joyce.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

"I'll have dessert first."

Only in America

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.