Emergency Tactics Guru Gifts

Paramedic carrying a portable siren.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Hurricane damage to trees

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"My God, now what?"

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

"I've got a pulse!"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"We ran into a marathon."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

Helicopter Rescues.