Preparedness Guru Gifts

"Honestly, Harry, I'll never tease you again for carrying around that elephant gun!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Nice park. . .

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Beware of Everything

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Safest Airline in The World

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

Emergency Underpants

Disasters

The Future of Flight?

Hurricane damage to trees

Women

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'It's an old work injury.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."