Emergency Preparedness Geek Gifts

Simian CPR Class. Those of you who pound your chest regularly will find this easier than others.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Emergency Phone.

Emergency exit into Space

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Prepper Dog

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Emergency Underpants

Disasters

Small Government Is Here

"My God, now what?"

Hurricane damage to trees

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

Fire Assembly Point

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.