Emergency Preparedness Guru Gifts

Helicopter Rescues.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Natural Disasters

Emergency Phone.

Emergency exit into Space

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Disasters

"My God, now what?"

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Hurricane damage to trees

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Fire Assembly Point

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

Chef: In Case of Emergency - can opener and canned food.

In case of fire call yourself.

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...