Emergency Preparedness Guru Gifts

Helicopter Rescues.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Natural Disasters

Emergency Phone.

Emergency exit into Space

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Prepper Dog

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Disasters

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Emergency Underpants

Small Government Is Here

"My God, now what?"

Hurricane damage to trees

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Fire Assembly Point

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Chef: In Case of Emergency - can opener and canned food.

In case of fire call yourself.