Emergency Strategist Gifts

Lights Spell Out 911.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

65 Million Years Ago

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Out.

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

Prepper Dog

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

The trap

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"My God, now what?"

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

Meanwhile, at the E.C.B. ...

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

President Obama: 'You're saying, we go back to a cash only economy, and if that doesn't work, the barter system!'

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"I've got a pulse!"

"Just junk mail."

The missiles had failed....so it was down to Frank....and plan B.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

House of Cards - Europe.